Last Updated on February 6, 2023 by Barbara Trapp
In January 2023, Marie Kondo announced to the world:
“My home is m
essy, but the way I am spending my time is the right way for me at this stage of my life.
Up until now, I was a professional tidier, so I did my best to keep my home tidy at all times. I have kind of given up on that in a good way for me. Now I realize what is important to me is enjoying spending time with my children at home.”
Thank you to all of you who forwarded articles, sent messages, and checked in to see if I and the entire organizing industry was going to be okay. I am fine. We are fine. In fact, the overall feeling is one of…
RELIEF!
Once, a potential client called me to ask about my process of working with clients. She nervously asked if I would make her pile all her clothes on her bed like a giant mountain and then leave her to “sort it all out like on that Netflix show, Tidying Up with Marie Kondo.”
I said, “Absolutely not!” I don’t think she believed me.
Some of my clients watch A&E’s Hoarders to scare themselves into cleaning up. Others watch The Minimalists to guilt themselves into letting go. And then there are those who seek absolute perfection via the Konmari techniques and routines.
All of this scaring, guilting, and perfection-seeking can’t be good for restful sleep or the soul. I love to fold my clothes neatly and prop them upright in drawers so I can see each piece. There are also times when I’m at the bottom of the laundry basket, it’s late, and I stuff the few remaining pajamas into a drawer and call it a night. My socks are rolled up like potatoes (a funny description Marie Kondo uses in her book, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up) and I don’t empty out and thank my purse at night.
Are You an Innie or an Outie?
It’s a personal question I ask my new clients, but I’m not referring to belly buttons. If you prefer to have things out where you can see them for inspiration, and the saying, “out of sight is out of mind” rings true for you, then you are an “Outie.” If you need things inside drawers, closets, and cabinets because things out are a distraction and anxiety-producing, I refer to you as an “Innie.” Now consider the styles of others in your household. Conflicting styles may require some compromise and understanding.
No matter what your style, organizing shows and books might provide some really useful hacks that work for you. Be open to tweaking some of those ideas and repurposing what you have. I like using organizing bins in a pantry, but plastic, not wicker (at least in the south, wicker makes a desirable home for dust and bugs). Have colorful dishes, art, and children’s artwork on the fridge if that inspires you and makes you happy. Or have a monochrome design theme with everything tucked away if that eases your eye and mind.
Reprioritize
Rather than give up, it seems that Marie Kondo has recognized and embraced the need to reprioritize her life. I have one beautiful daughter and used to tell people I was impressed with anyone who had more than one child. When my daughter was little, I was working 50-60 hours a week, volunteered at her school, and coordinated multiple after-school care options. Schedules were so complicated that I put a different tag on her backpack each day: “Ride the bus home,” or “Today Ms. Tricia picks you up and takes you to church,” or “Ride the bus to my office,” or “I’m picking you up for dance class.”
I am in awe of those who are juggling shuttling multiple kids to multiple schools and activities, jobs, and caregiving, all while trying to maintain a relatively organized home. Sometimes good enough is good enough. If you can’t find the time to cull your mail every day, do it once a week. Benjamin Franklin’s guidance of, “A place for everything, everything in its place” can be interpreted as anything that makes sense to you. If shoes gather by the front door, put a large basket or bin there to contain them. Perhaps they belong there, rather than in a bedroom closet.
Someone once said to me, “No one ‘always’ or ‘nevers’.” It’s ideal to strive for consistency and processes, but even more important to follow common sense. Sometimes exceptions to plans and environments occur and if that happens frequently, it’s time to reassess your priorities. Kudos to Kondo for doing just that and telling the world!
Are you ready to find a new balance?
I’d love to help you get some clarity so you can live the life you desire! Schedule your free consult here.
Barbara Trapp, CPO®, Certified Professional Organizer® and Productivity Coach
Zen Your Den® | Zen Your Biz | Zen Your Life®
Professional Member, NAPO (National Association of Productivity and Organizing Professionals)